If you've read any of my other posts, you've probably noticed I try to keep the indentities of the guys who contact me anonymous for the most part. It's not their fault that they're mostly social morons. Today, the guy I'm writing about pissed me off to the point that I'm about to say, "fuck privacy!". I'd like to say it's for the greater good, and I'm trying to shield anyone else from having to deal with this prick, but it's mostly because I can be catty and he was really immature about things.
So, let me introduce you to Slick Rick. When he messaged me, my first reaction was that his grammar sucked and he looked like my friend's ex-boyfriend if he had been a guido. However, I make it a point to message everyone back out of courtesy, and you never know when it's going to give me something amusing to write about. So, he gives me his number and we end up texting a bit over the next few days.
The first night, he asked me for a picture of my boobs. When I declined, he offered to trade and send me one of him. I told him he could send me one if he wanted to, but it wouldn't get one in return. So of course he sends me one, and it's really not impressive. Then he says, "I'm waiting." So I send back, "What did I just say? :P", and he didn't respond back.
A couple of days later, after not saying much outside of small talk, he asks for a picture of my boobs. I once again explained that I don't just send them to random people, and if he really wanted to see them, he'd have to at least make the effort to get to know me better first. Then it got interesting. I'm posting the texts exactly as I recieved/sent them, so excuse the grammar...it annoys me too. Sorry. :(
Rick: If you wanna get to know me better you'll show me your tits
Me: Haha I think you just told me everything I need to know about you.
Rick: Good now you'll leave me alone god damn I thought your fat ass would never stop texting me bye fatty
So, hold on. He goes out of his way to contact me, asks multiple times to see me naked, and then calls me fat and apparently annoying when I decline? Since he obviously didn't want me texting him anymore, I didn't bother replying. Then, he starts spamming my phone with texts that just say "Fatty" every 10 seconds or so. After about a dozen, I finally reply "Haha, chode" (if you look at the picture he sent me, you'll see why - NSFW!), and I swear to God, best response ever:
Rick: AT LEAST I CAN SEE MINE
Yes, it's true. He's discovered my deepest secret. I cannot, for the life of me, locate my penis. It's clearly because I'm fat, and has nothing to do with that pesky vagina in my pants. It's a tragedy.
Then he sent me about three more "Fatty" texts, so then I pretty much told him this would be posted on the internet later, and he threatened to call the cops. I reminded him it wasn't illegal and if he doesn't want naked pictures of him floating around, he shouldn't send them to complete strangers on the internet. Frustrated, he said:
Rick: Don't talk to me n I won't talk to you k bitch
Then he texted me two more times. Brilliant.
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