So, it's been an odd week for one-liners. I mean, I've always been a magnet for more socially awkward guys. I would guess it's because I'm friendly and will pretty much talk to anybody until they offend and/or bore the snot out of me, but I like to hypothesize that all the really awkward guys have a forum somewhere, and they just tell each other to talk to me.
But this week, I literally had a guy refer to his "pee-pee". I quite appropriately nearly peed myself laughing. I'm a firm believer that no one should ever say "pee-pee" unless conversing with a 5 year old. And when I laughed, he asked what he had ought to call it! I don't know, pick a word!
Even that's not quite as amusing as the guy who called it his "thick tasty snicker chocolate bar." ...I have so many problems with this it's not funny. 1.) It's a Snickers. 2.) Saying "tasty snicker chocolate bar" is like saying you got money out of the ATM machine. 3.) ...WHY?! Then again, I can't be shocked, because this is the same guy who told me he'd f**ck me so hard and deep, he'd hit my "lower intestines." When I joked that he had better be talking about anal, cuz otherwise there's a HUGE problem, I expected him to be like, "lol duh". But no. I get, "No..it will burst through your walls. to the intestines." The only thing I could possibly think to respond to that was "Septicemia and internal bleeding, every girl's biggest turn ons! But no seriously. You should probably never say that to a woman." So then he tried to fix it by saying he'd "knibble" my body....less appalling imagery, but that k just kills the sexy.
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