I swear, if this isn't the last one of these I have to write, I will personally cram my own laptop down my throat. He's driving me up the walls. After being generally stubborn for however long, he suddenly turns to absolutely bat-shit crazy.
Him: Consider a hypothetical situation. Consider if I were to tell you that I wanted you to do something outlandish, like cut all ties with him and your other exes and everyone else. How would you then interpret that. Would it have any effect on your actions or choices?
Me: Yup.
Him: How?
Me: It'd make me stop talking to you.
Him: Now, another hypothetical situation, more mild this time. What if I told you I wanted you to break it completely with him and date me. Would that change your actions or decisions? Would it do anything?
Me: Yes, it would pretty much tell me that you're entirely unreasonable.
Him: Ah? Before I go into my next hypothetical, I want you to expand upon that.
Me: You'd expect me to cut off ties with someone who means a lot to me to be with someone I've never even met. While I'm at it, how about I quit my job and we elope to Turkey?
Him: Next hypothetical situation, if I were to ask for a threesome relationship that had equal time with you split between the two of us? That threesome sex would be fine. An open relationship. Whatever you want to call that one. What then?
Me: Well that's less outlandish, but still a bit ridiculous at the moment. And as I've said, I haven't met you, so I can't promise to have sex with you.
Him: Fine, if you're going to restrict your answer to such a minute part of the question, erase the sex part.
I'm sorry, having sex with someone is NOT a minute consideration.
Me: Answer stays the same. I still don't know you well enough to even engage in a relationship with you yet.
Actually, I probably know him well enough to NEVER engage in a relationship with him.
Him: Now, I would like to call to your attention the vast span by which your responses differ.
Me: Ok?
They really don't differ that much. My response to all of them is pretty much that he's absolutely insane if he thinks I'm going for any of those.
Him: By spreading my hypothetical responses as such, I've covered a blanketed area of responses. All change your actions and responses. I cannot interfere.
Me: Okay, so let me get this straight then, if you WERE to ask me to do something to make this all up to you, it'd be one of those situations??
Him: ....What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you just ignore any parts of my message that scroll off the screen?
Me: I'm just trying to make sense of what the hell you're talking about.
Him: By spreading my hypothetical responses as such, I've covered a blanketed area of responses. By spreading my hypothetical responses as such, I've covered a blanketed area of responses.By spreading my hypothetical responses as such, I've covered a blanketed area of responses.
Me: And what the fuck is that supposed to mean to me?
Him: By spreading my hypothetical responses as such, I've covered a blanketed area of responses. Have you ever taken any form of geometry course?
Me: Yes
Him: So you know what a triangle is.
Me: I get what you're saying, just not as it applies to me.
Him: You do know what a triangle is, right?
Seriously? Seriously? Someone please punch him. kthxbai.
Me: Yes. I'm familiar with the triangle. :P
Him: You're aware of the fact that the triangle is the first geometric shape, in progression starting with a single point and moving forward (point, line, triangle, square...etc) that has measurable area, right?
Me: Yes.
Him: Well then. Imagine my three responses as indicating different general areas within which a response could fall. I have provided three of them so that, within the symbolic domain of possible answers, I have provided enough that you could correlate a possible response to AT LEAST one of those responses, inasmuch as I've define a broad spectrum of possible responses by which I cover all possibilities in an effort to describe and display the fact that YOUR responses are ALWAYS changed by mine.
Slow down, Einstein. Actually, all you've done was lay out three VERY similar situations, and so yes, you could determine any answer I have based off of any situation along those lines. So I wasn't exactly being irrational in assuming you'd want to put me in a situation much different that what you've described. Furthermore, of course my responses are ALWAYS changed by yours - you asked me three different questions. Ask me a fourth one, you'll get yet ANOTHER response from me. What you've failed to do is tell me what your POINT is.
Me: Okay.
Him: Well then. Imagine my three responses as indicating different general areas within which a response could fall. I have provided three of them so that, within the symbolic domain of possible answers, I have provided enough that you could correlate a possible response to AT LEAST one of those responses, inasmuch as I've define a broad spectrum of possible responses by which I cover all possibilities in an effort to describe and display the fact that YOUR responses are ALWAYS changed by mine.
Me: And so the point we've made by establishing this is?
Him: YOUR responses are ALWAYS changed by mine.
See what I mean? Clearly, repeating yourself makes your argument better! :D
Me: And??
Him: I'm getting to grow quite annoyed with you.
Me: At least it's mutual. Repeating yourself verbatim does not, in fact, make a point more clear. :P
Him: You must be braindead, then.
Me: Clearly.
Him: Because I've made it clear already why I can't have my decisions changing yours. In fact, if I have to say it again, it will be the fourth time.
Me: Okay. You can't tell me your decision because it affects my decision. And you want me to decide on my own. You've made that ABUNDANTLY clear. What you haven't told me is why you CARE that your decision affects me.
Him: BECAUSE I CANNOT INTERFERE!
Right, I forgot! That's the third rule of robotics! Duh.
Me: Why not?
Him: Personal reasons.
Me: Are you going to share those?
Him: They wouldn't be very personal if I did, now would they?
Um, yes. Yes they would. That's "secrets" you're thinking of.
Me: If you're not going to explain something to me, don't expect me to accept it as an answer.
Him: Care to share why you're ready and jumping to accept someone back who hurt you in the past?
It wouldn't be very personal if I did, now would it? :P
Me: Everyone gets hurt by everyone else at some point. You just have to decide who's worth it.
Him: No. That is illogical.
Me: Of course it is. I refuse to rationalize emotion.
Him: Emotion is little more than an algorithmic response to a stimuli as compared to previous experiences.
Oh god, don't give me that bullshit.
Me: Okay.
Him: You, however, do not appear to contain the memories of your previous experiences.
I think he means "retain". And of course I do. I'm just not bitter enough to them hold me back.
Him: Either that or you lack an algorithm to evaluate.
Me: Either that or I evaluate at a higher level than you do.
Him: I'm not allowed to interfere because I'm not beyond making lives hell if it amuses me.
So you ARE a woman!
Me: You're not taking into consideration changing circumstances.
Him: Circumstances hardly ever change.
Me: Says the cynic to the dreamer.
Him: I'm not allowed to interfere for that very reason. Because I haven't changed beyond my habit of fucking with things if I deem it worth the time and effort. Which is why I drop my emotions when they'll interfere, which is why I will not influence decisions beyond a neutral standpoint.
Me: You misjudge the amount of influence you actually have on me. I've asked you repeatedly to tell me what it is you want to make you feel better. I never said I would do it without question.
Him: I've made it clear what would make me feel better. In fact, me saying it earlier today is what sparked this off. I've said it other days as well.
Suddenly, everything clicked. And I was PISSED.
Me: You want me to go to the movies with you?
Him: Expand upon it...
Me: As your date?
Him: Is that what I want? Have I asked for that before?
Me: Yes. You have.
Him: Gradually I'm certain you'll develop a feel for logic.
You know in movies where the guy dives across a table to throttle someone on the other side? I have never been so sympathetic to them in my LIFE.
Me: You know, for someone who bases his arguments so deeply in the importance of being logical, you are the MOST illogical person I have ever spoken to. All you wanted was a date to the movies? You made a huge stink and essentially a great big argument over something that trivial? When the LOGICAL thing to do would have been just to come right out and say it and save us both the time and effort!
Him: Interesting... You still don't see the intrisic values to my argument.
Now I'm guessing he meant "intrinsic", and I won't lie to you, I grabbed a dictionary to brush up on what that meant. Basically he means "Well, I DID tell you I like to fuck with people." ....I'm going to need anger management after this.
No comments:
Post a Comment