Anybody got an aspirin?

Remember my little Jewish friend there? Well, his name WAS saved in my phone as "Sexy Jew", mostly because up until he sent me a friend request on Facebook, I had no idea what his name was, and that happens to be his screen name. Only today, he made the ranks of all these lucky bastards I write about, and was given his own oh so endearing nickname. He is now saved in my phone as "Oi Vey".

And remember how I had to have that little chat with him about how he's rushing things? Well, we had that little chat. I told him I was concerned he was getting too attached too quickly, and that I just didn't want him to get hurt if things don't work out. His response? "Don't you think they will?" So, I said we still don't know each other at all, and it's impossible to say. He then told me he never takes things too seriously before he should, and changed the subject. So I immediately brought it right back, and he insisted I shouldn't be worried. After making the same point the third time, just for emphasis, I let it go. Since it was about 3 in the morning then, he went to bed, and so did I.

But when I woke up, I had FIVE new text messages from him, the first starting barely two hours after our little chat.

5:01am: What r u doin? Can we chat sweetie?
5:21am: R u able to talk cutie?
5:35am: Hey if you're home jump on AIM so we cab talk i would love to talk with u some more
10:58am: Hit me up whenever u get this so we can chat
12:31pm: Hey cutie r u up? What r u doing today? Hit me up when you get this

Alright, one: I slept late today. Don't judge me. Two: He texts me 3 times before 6am, but doesn't ask me if I'm awake til 12:30? Three: I have literally two dozen other texts just like this on my phone from other days, AND he left me two voicemails yesterday. Four: Guys I was legitimately IGNORING haven't tried this hard to get me to talk to them. He's driving me insane. So I sent him text that said "Don't you think texting me five times in one morning is a bit excessive??!" He apologized. He even stopped texting me for the day when I told him I had to go to work.

But once I got home, he of course started talking to me. In his typical fashion, he asked for my opinion after every little statement he made, most of which were either sexual, or asking how ready I think I'll be to make a commitment after our tentative first date. No matter how many times I tell him there's no possible way I could have any idea of what a commitment to him would be like, because I don't KNOW him, he doesn't get it.

Him: We kbow alot about eachother.
Me: Idk haha, I don't really think we do.
Him: what do u not know about me that u want to
Met: I dont mean it like that, its just, i mean how much do you really know about me??
Him: that your 19 u work at a group home, u go to college, u love the outdoors, color is pink
Me: That it?

That's all he could come up with. And for the record, no, I really don't love the outdoors, and I have no idea where he got that idea. Then he was quiet for a long while. Secretly, I hoped he was snooping through my Facebook, or even my DATING PROFILE which has a LIST of my interests that he could easily list off to me and pretend he actually knew something about me. But, alas, no. Instead, I get this:

Him: what else should i know about u. hmmm
Me: How about what my goals are? My dreams and values? What career im persuing? Who's important in my life? What i want in a partner? What are my pet peeves? What's my ideal date? I mean you don't know how to answer any of these. You can hardly say you know me on any meaninful level yet.

His response? "So tell me." I literally shook my head. Sure. I can tell him all this stuff. I can ramble on about it for hours. I just feel like I shouldn't have to throw a fit to get him to even ask me about it. Mind you, while having this conversation, I was relaying it to two friends of mine. One, a very shy, adorably polite guy I met recently, and the other, a guy I can't imagine my life without. My dearest friend in the world, my voice of reason, my calm in the storm. Now, these two guys, whose opinions I value highly, had two completely different views on it. The shy one was essentially offended. His stance is that this guy has no interest in taking his time to get to know me; he wants instant gratification. My best friend said he sees Oi Vey's point. Since I think it's so important for him to know, I should tell him. Fine. When Oi Vey finally asked what I DID want in a partner, I told him. When I got done with my whole detailed, hopelessly romantic description, he says, " do u think u i could b that person".



He never will get it, will he? So I told him one final time that I don't know him nearly well enough to make that judgement. When he went to bed after that, I was left to whine to my friends about how the conversation had ended. My best friend laughed; the boy is hopeless. And my new friend seemed almost angry, and advised me to cut off all contact with this guy. He said I should simply block him. I personally think I owe the guy at least the closure of a "no". My friend says some guys need to be ignored to get the picture. Ah.

I on the other hand know of a few guys who can't seem to get the picture being ignored. As if to prove my point, a guy I talked to months ago IMed me. I started ignoring him, and he kept trying to contact me for months. I thought he'd never give up, until the messaging actually stopped. Until tonight, when he sent me "Did i do somethin wrong?".

They just never learn.